175+ Sports Jokes That will bring out the inner athlete in you

175+ Sports Jokes That will bring out the inner athlete in you

Do you love sports? if yes then you gonna love this Collection of sports jokes. Here is list of top sports Jokes that will bring out the inner athlete in you

Collection Of Best Sports Jokes

1. What position do pigs play on a baseball team?
A: Short-slop.

2. What is a shortstop’s favorite saying?
A: “If at first you don’t succeed, try the out- field.”

3. What do you call a dog that stands behind home plate?
A: The catcher’s mutt.

4. What was a spider doing on the baseball team?
A: Catching flies.

5. Where do coal diggers play baseball?
A: In the minor (miner) leagues.

6. Why couldn’t Robin play baseball?
A: He forgot his bat, man.

7. How do you hold a bat?
A: By the wings.

8. What has two gloves and four legs?
A: Two baseball players.

9. What is the baseball version of “Star Wars”?
A: “The Umpire Strikes Back.”

10. When is an umpire like a telephone operator?
A: When he makes a call.

11. What kind of umpires do you find at the North Pole?
A: Cold ones.

12. What is the difference between an umpire and a pickpocket?
A: The umpire watches steals, the pickpocket steals watches.

13. How are tough teachers like umpires?
A: They penalize you for errors.

14. Why did the umpire penalize the stale bread?
A: It tried to get fresh.

15. Why did the umpire penalize the chicken?
A: For using fowl (foul) language.

16. How do football players get clean?
A: They use scrub teams.

18. How can you tell if there is a football team in your bathtub?
A: It is hard to close the shower curtain.

19. Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.

20. How do you serve a football player his clam chowder?
A: In a soup-er bowl.

21. What did the football say to the player?
A: “I get a kick out of you.”

22. What did the football say after the player threw it?
A: “You send me!”

23. What did the helmet say to the football player?
A: “You’re putting me on!”

24. How do we know that football referees are happy?
A: Because they whistle while they work.

25. What do you call a 300-pound football player with a short temper?
A: “Sir.”

26. What do you do with a blue football player?
A: Cheer him up.

27. What do you do with a green hockey player?
A: Teach him something.

28. What do you do with a green basketball player?
A: Wait until he ripens.

29. Who’s the favorite poet of basketball players?
A: Longfellow.

30. What is purple and wrinkled and makes pit stops?
A: A racing prune.

31. Where do race cars go swimming?
A: In the car pool.

32. Where do ghosts go swimming?
A: At the sea ghost (coast).

33. Where do mummies go swimming?
A: In the Dead Sea.

34. What do you call two logs in the water?
A: A pair of swimming trunks.

35. What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
A: A bouncing baby boa.

36. Why did the basketball player throw the ball into the ocean?
A: The coach told him to sink it.

37. Why did the basketball players hold their noses?
A: Someone was about to make a foul shot.

38. How did the midget qualify for the basketball team?
A: He lied about his height.

39. What would you get if you cloned and froze a player on the Los Angeles Lakers?
A: An iced Kareem clone.

40. What flavor ice cream do cheerleaders like best?
A: Rahs-berry.

41. What do cheerleaders like to drink?
A: Root beer.

42. Which three R’s must every cheerleader know?
A: “Rah! Rah! Rah!”

43. What color is a cheerleader?
A: Yeller (yellow).

44. What do cheerleaders have for breakfast?
A: Cheer-ios.

45. Who wears a coonskin cap and plays an English Game?
A: Davy Cricket.

46. Why did the elephant go to the gym wearing Adidas?
A: His Reeboks were in the wash.

47. Why do elephants wear blue sneakers?
A: Because white ones get dirty too fast.

48. Where did the Loch Ness monster put on its sneakers?
A: In the loch-er room.

49. What did the fencer say when he was de- feated?
A: “Curses! Foiled again!”

50. What does a fencing master do at 12 o’clock?
A: He goes to lunge.

51. What happens when you hit a pop fly?
A: The same thing that happens when you a mom fly.

52. How do you make a fly ball?
A: Hit him with a bat.

53. What is the best way to get rid of flies?
A: Get good outfielders.

54. What is the best way to get rid of demons?
A: Exorcise (exercise).

55. How can you pitch a winning baseball game without ever throwing a ball?
A: Throw only strikes.

56. What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team.

57. When do monkeys play baseball?
A: In Ape-ril.

58. When does Humpty-Dumpty play baseball?
A: In the fall.

59. Why was the night baseball invented?
A: Because bats like to sleep during the day.

60. What do you get if you cover a baseball field with sandpaper?
A: A diamond in the rough.

61. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.

62. Why are golf balls small and white?
A: Because if they were big and gray, they’d be elephants.

63. What do you get if you cross a computer pro- grammer and an Olympic athlete?
A: A floppy discus thrower.

64. What happened when the discus thrower lost the tournament?
A: He became discus-ted.

65. When does a broad jumper jump highest?
A: In a leap year.

66. Can any broad jumper jump higher than a house?
A: Yes, a house can’t jump.

67. When can you jump over three men without getting up?
A: In a checkers game.

68. What did the javelin say when
A: “Oh, spear me! Spear me!”

69. How do you make a cream puff?
A: Enter it in a marathon.

70. How do you make an egg run faster?
A: You egg it on.

71. Why was Adam the best runner of all time?
A: Because he was first in the human race.

72. How do you feel about losing the race?
A: The agony of defeat (the feet).

73. What gets harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath.

74What animals always go with you when you jog?
A: Your calves.

75. What happens when skiers get old?
A: They go downhill.

76. What happens when long distance runners get old?
A: They go round the bend.

77. What happens when baseball players get old?
A: They go batty.

78. Which big punctuation mark is like a race?
A: A 40-yard dash.

79. Why does carrying a pencil always slow you down when you’re running?
A: Because it is full of lead.

80. What kind of running means walking?
A: Running out of gas.

81. What did the athlete put in his sneakers to help him run faster?
A: Quicksand.

82. Why couldn’t the orange finish the race?
A: It ran out of juice.

83. What race is like the Indianapolis 500—but without the apples?
A: The Indian apple-less 500.

84. When are Olympic swimmers like babies?
A: When they do the crawl.

85. Who is the best fencer in the ocean?
A: The swordfish.

86. What is the noisiest sport?
A: Tennis, because all the players raise a racket (racquet).

87. Why are fish poor tennis players?
A: They don’t like to get close to the net.

88. What is the quietest sport?
A: Bowling, because you usually can hear a pin drop.

89. When is a bowling alley not on land or on water?
A: When it is on fire.

90. Why did all the bowling pins lie down?
A: They were on strike.

91. What can you do with old bowling balls?
A: Give them to elephants to shoot marbles with.

92. Why is bowling good for teenagers?
A: Because it takes them off the streets and puts them in the alleys.

93. Did you ever see a salad bowl?
A: No, but I saw a fruit punch.

94. How do you make a fruit punch?
A: Give it boxing lessons.

95. What would you get if a rooster stepped into
A: the ring with the heavyweight champion of the world? Creamed chicken.

96. Why is boxing the world champion like singing in a barbershop quartet?
A: Because if you don’t look sharp, you’ll be flat.

97. How do you make a golf ball float?
A: Take two scoops of ice cream. Add root beer. Then drop in the golf ball.

98. Why did the Cotton Bowl?
A: It saw the ski jump.

99. Why did the ski jump?
A: It saw the chain fence.

100. Why did the chain fence?
A: It saw the match box.

101. Why did the match box?
A: It saw the apple turnover. mis

102. What has two blades and breathes fire?
A: A dragon on ice skates.

103. What position do monsters play on a hockey team?
A: Ghoulie.

104. When a hockey player goes to the barber, does he get a haircut?
A: No, he gets all of them cut.

105. How is an actor in a hit show like a hockey player?
A: One sticks with a play, the other plays with a stick.

106. What looks like an elephant and flies?
A: A flying elephant.

107. What is the last thing a trapeze flyer wants to be?
A: The fall guy.

108. What is black and white and red all over?
A: A penguin that has done 100 push-ups. 80

109. What did Cinderella wear when she went to the beach?
A: Glass flippers.

110. Why wouldn’t the skeleton jump off the diving board?
A: It had no guts.

111. Why weren’t the elephants allowed in the swimming pool?
A: Because they couldn’t keep their trunks up.

112. What do you get if an elephant sucks up all the water in a swimming pool and squirts it out?
A: A jumbo jet.

113. What do lawyers like to wear when they go swimming?
A: Bathing suits.

114. What do lawyers wear when they go running?
A: Briefs.

115. What sport is like a perfect score in the Olympics?
A: Tennis (ten is).

116. Why are waiters like tennis players?
A: They both have to know how to serve.

117. Do vampires play tennis?
A: No, they prefer bat-minton.

118. Where does a big, mean, 300-pound-wrestler sit when he gets on a bus?
A: Anywhere he wants to.

119. Would you rather have a 300-pound football player attack you or a 300-pound wrestler?
A: I’d rather have them attack each other.

120. How do you tell a big, mean wrestler from a bunny rabbit?
A: You don’t tell a big, mean wrestler any- thing.

121. Why couldn’t the wrestler light the fire?
A: Because he lost all his matches.

122. What is the difference between a wrestler pinned to the mat and a rainy day?
A: One is roaring with pain, the other is pouring with rain.

123. What tree is a karate champion?
A: Spruce Lee.

124. What is small, round and green and knows ka-rate?
A: Bruce Pea.

125. What sickness did Bruce Lee get every winter?
A: Kung Flu.

126. Why did the karate expert wear a black belt?
A: To keep his pants up.

127. Why did the weightlifter wear black suspen- ders?
A: To keep his shoulders down.

128. How do you shake hands with a judo expert?
A: Very carefully.

129. Why did the matador take judo lessons?
A: He wanted to learn how to throw the bull.

130. What do you get when a pea picks a fight with a boxer?
A: A black-eyed pea.

131. What kind of potatoes do you get when you
A: step into the ring with the heavyweight cham-pion of France? French fright (fried).

132. Why is a boxer’s hand never larger than eleven inches long?
A: If it were twelve inches long, it would be a foot.

133. What was the artist doing in the boxing ring?
A: They needed him in case the fight ended in a draw.

134. What is the difference between a winter day and a boxer who is down for the count?
A: One is cold out, the other is out cold.

135. What is the difference between a nail and a bad boxer?
A: One is knocked in, the other is knocked out.

136. What is the difference between an ice cream cone and a professional boxer?
A: You can lick one, the other can lick you.

137. What would you get if two outlaw gangs en- tered a sky diving contest?
A: A chute out.

138. What kind of flying school doesn’t anyone want to go to?
vOne that has a crash course.

139. How are airplane pilots like football players?
A: They’re both interested in safe touchdowns.

140. How do you shoot a basketball?
A: With a BB gun.

141. What do you call it when a duck is hit by a bullet?
A: A foul (fowl) shot.

142. Why did the boxer hit the grandfather clock?
A: The clock struck first.

143. Why did the clock strike first?
A: Because it was ticked off.

144. When are boxers like comedians?
A: When they have you in stitches.

145. When do boxers start wearing gloves?
A: When it gets cold.

146. Which part of a boxing glove hurts the most?
A: The outside.

147. What do you call a team of really rough, tough
A: football players?

148. What would you get if a whole football team landed on Batman and Robin?
A: Flatman and Ribbon.

149. What game do you play when a whole football team lands on you?
A: Squash.

150. How do you feel when a football team lands on you?
A: Very low.

151. What do you call a monster that chases a whole football team?
A: Hungry!

152. Why don’t skeletons play football?
A: Because they can’t make body contact.

153. Which side of a football is the hardest to catch?
A: The outside.

154. Why can’t you play football in a small neigh- borhood?
A: Because there aren’t a hundred yards in a small neighborhood.

155. How many feet are there in a football field?
A: That depends on how many people are standing in it.

156. What do you do when a 400-pound football player breaks his big toe?
A: Call a big toe (tow) truck.

157. Why was the tow truck driver arrested when he hitched a racing car to his truck?
A: They said he was trying to pull a fast one.

158. What happened when the racing car driver slammed into a pile of I.O.U.s?
A: He ran into debt.

159. What are two auto racers who drive the same car?
A: Vroom-mates.

160. How do fleas start a race?
A: The starter says, “One, two, flea-go!”

161. How do fireflies start a race?
A: The starter says, “Ready, set-glow!”

161. How do chickens start a race?
A: From scratch.

162. What would you get if you cross a lobster and a baseball player?
A: A pinch hitter.

163. Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter?
A: With a mummy at bat, the game would be all tied

164. What ghost haunts a team?
A: The team spirit.

165. Why is school like baseball?
A: The bell strikes one, two, three—and you’re out!

166. What is the difference between someone who hits the ball but does not score—and someone who beats a chicken?
A: One fouls the hit, the other hits the fowl.

167. What is the difference between a queen who likes to dance and a baseball player?
A: One throws balls, the other catches them.

168. How many games have you played?
A: The first one is next Sunday.

169. Why did the silly baseball player bring his bat to bed?
A: He wanted to hit the hay.

170. Why did the rookie player put ice cubes in his pocket?
A: He was trying to keep his cool.

171. Why couldn’t the fans get soda pop at the double header?
A: Because the home team lost the opener.

172. Why don’t baseball players join unions?
A: Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.

173. What is the difference between a baseball player an angry musician?
A: One scores a hit, the other hits a score.

174. What is the difference between a sick cow and a crowd that doesn’t like the umpire’s decision?
A: One moos badly, the other boos madly.

175. What does a skunk do when it disagrees with the umpire?
A: It raises a stink.

Leave a Reply