Are you looking for science jokes? Look no further here are the collection of best scientifically proven science jokes. That will Tickle your rational mind.
Best Science jokes
1. How did Mary’s little lamb get to Mars?
A: By rocket sheep.
2. What travels around the earth all year without using a drop of fuel?
A: The moon.
3. Why is the moon like a dollar?
A: Because it has four quarters.
4. What do astronauts do when they get angry?
A: They blast off
5. What would you get if the cow that jumped over the moon fought Taurus the Bull?
A: Steer Wars.
6. Why was the astronaut wrong when he landed on the moon and reported there was no life there?
A: There was with him on it.
7. What did the Mad Scientist get when the rocket fell on his foot?
8. How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
A: You rock-et.
9. What do you call a person who is crazy about going into space?
A: An astro-nut.
10. What do you call an astronaut who is afraid of heights?
A: A failure.
11. Why did the astronaut lie on the bed before he blasted off?
A: He wanted to count down.
12. What do little astronauts get when they do their homework?
A: Gold stars.
13. Who was the first settler in the West?
A: The sun.
14. Which is lighter: the sun or the earth?
A: The sun, because it rises every morning.
15. What kind of bath does the Mad Scientist take without water?
A: Asun bath.
16. How does the Mad Scientist tune into the sun?
A: With a sundial.
17. What does the sun do when it gets tired?
A: It sets a while.
18. What does an astronaut do when he gets dirty?
A: He takes a meteor shower.
19. What is the secret of being a happy astronaut?
A: Never look down.
20. What is an astronaut’s favorite meal?
21. What is round and purple and orbits the sun?
A: The Planet of the Grapes.
22. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a galaxy and a toad?
A: Star warts.
23. Which is the noisiest planet?
A: Saturn, because it has so many rings.
24. How do you get to the Planet of the Apes?
A: By banana boat.
25. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a banana and a comedian?
A: Peels of laughter.
26. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a banana and a bell?
A: A banana you can peel more than once.
27. How is a prisoner like an astronaut?
A: They are both interested in outer space.
28. How is Lassie like a comet?
A: Both are stars with tails.
29. What do you call a spaceman who is invisible?
A: An astro-naught.
30. Who really likes to be down and out?
A: A seasick astronaut.
31. Why did the Mad Scientist pinch the waitress?
A: He wanted to see some flying saucers.
32. Why do astronauts wear bullet-proof vests?
A: To protect themselves against shooting stars.
33. What bee is necessary to your health?
A: Vitamin B.
34. What dog likes to hang around scientists?
A: A laboratory retriever.
35. When does the Mad Doctor charge his batteries?
A: When he can’t pay cash.
36. What would you get if your doctor became a vampire?
A: More blood tests than ever.
37. Why did the Mad Doctor operate in the church?
A: He wanted to perform an organ transplant.
38. What does the Mad Doctor give – sick bird?
39. Where do they take care of sick parrots?
A: In a polyclinic.
40. What does a Mad Doctor do with a sick zeppelin?
A: He tries to helium.
41. What mental illness does Santa suffer from?
42. What do you tell a germ when it fools around?
A: “Don’t bacilli!”
43. What does the Mad Doctor do when a health nut knocks on the laboratory door?
44. What boat takes dentists on short trips?
A: The Tooth Ferry.
45. When does a Mad Doctor buy a thermometer?
A: Winter, because then it is lower.
46. What would you get if the Mad Doctor swallowed a clock?
A: A tick doc.
47. What is covered with ribbons and bows and comes from outer space?
A: A gift-wrapped Martian.
48. What is better than presence of mind when a Martian aims a death-ray gun at you?
A: Absence of body.
49. What do Martians do in space when they get thirsty?
A: They drink from the Big Dipper.
50. How do Martians drink their tea?
A: From flying saucers.
51. How do you talk to a 50-foot-tall Martian?
A: Use big words.
52. Are you tan from the sun?
A: No, I’m Sam from the earth.
53. How do you arrange for a trip to Mars?
A: You planet (plan it).
54. What is the difference between a Martian and a pottfer?
A: t’s to cook in, silly.
55. When are soldiers like people from outer space?
A: When they’re Martian along.
56. What would you get if you crossed a 50- foot Martian and a 300-pound chicken?
A: The biggest cluck in the solar system.
57. What did the Martian say when he landed in a field of weeds?
A: “Take me to your weeder.”
58. Where do Martians leave their spaceships?
A: At parking
59. What is soft, white, and comes from Mars?
60. What would you get if a rooster fought a Martian?
A: Creamed chicken.
61. What happened when the Mad Scientist fell into the lens grinding machine?
A: He made a spectacle of himself.
62. What book tells you about all the different kinds of owls?
A: Who’s Whoo.
63. Why did the Mad Scientist cross a mole m and Dick Tracy?
A: He wanted to bring law and order to the underground.
64. Why does the Mad Scientist like bargains?
A: Because he’s 50% off, himself.
65. Why does the Mad Scientist count his money with his toes?
A: So it won’t slip through his fingers.
66. What geometric figure is the most dangerous?
A: A firing line.
67. What nationality are people from the Arctic Circle?
A: North Polish
68. How did the Mad Scientist get rid of flies in his laboratory?
A: He hired a good outfielder.
69. Why did the Mad Scientist shoot his car?
A: He wanted to kill the motor.
70. What is the difference between little kids at Christmas and werewolves?
A: Werewolves have claws on their fingers; little kids at Christmas have claws (Claus) on their minds.
71. What is “mean temperature”?
A: Twenty degrees below zero when you don’t have long underwear.
72. What doesn’t get wetter no matter how much it rains?
A: The ocean.
73. Why did the ocean roar at the ships?
A: Because they crossed it so manytimes.
74. Why was the ocean arrested?
A: Because it beat upon the shore.
75. Why is the ocean so grouchy?
A: Because it has crabs all over its bottom.
76. What would you get if you crossed the ocean and a thief?
A: A crime wave.
77. What do two oceans say when they meet after many years?
A: “Long time no sea.”
78. What’s the most romantic part of the ocean?
A: The spot where buoy meets gull.
79. How does a Mad Scientist make a lighthouse?
A: He uses balsa wood.
80. What did the Mad Scientist get when he tried to reach the beehive?
A: A buzzy signal.
81. Who is more amazing than the Mad Scientist who drank 8 sodas and burped 7-Up?
A: The one who drank Canada dry.
82. What is a worm’s favorite opera?
A: Rigoletto (wriggle-etto).
83. Why did the Mad Scientist want to be a comedian?
A: He heard comedians make dough out of corn.
84. Did you hear about the Mad Scientist’s latest invention?
A: It’s a spinning top that is also a whistle. Now he can really blow his top
85. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a sheep and some chocolate candy?
A: A Hershey baa.
86. What mysterious thing did the Mad Scientist see in the skillet?
A: An unidentified frying object.
87. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a ballpoint pen and a hippopotamus?
A: The Ink-credible Hulk.
88. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a sheep and a banana?
A: A baa-nana.
89. Where do rivers sleep?
A: In river beds.
90. When does a river flood?
A: When it gets too big for its bridges.
91. What’s in the Great Wall of China that the Chinese didn’t put in it?
92. What happened when the Mad Scientist threw an elastic band into the computer?
A: It gave snappy answers.
93. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a cat and a parrot?
A: A purr-a-keet.
94. What kind of music do you hear when you throw a stone into the lake?
A: Plunk rock.
95. Why did the Mad Scientist put a rabbit in his automobile?
A: So he could use it for short hops.
96. When is a robot like a surgeon?
A: When it operates on batteries.
97. How does a Mad Scientist count cows?
A: On a cowculator.
98. Do you have any brothers?
A: No, only transistors.
99. What do you get when a robot’s wires are reversed?
A: A lot of backtalk.
100. What did the robot say when it ran out of electricity?
A: “AC come, AC go.”
101. How do robots cross a lake?
A: In a row-bor.
102. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a cow and a chicken?
A: Roost beef
103. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a chicken and a cement truck?
A: A hen that lays sidewalks.
104. What does a mechanical frog say?
A: “Robot, robot!”
105. How does the Mad Scientist fix a robot gorilla?
A: With a monkey wrench.
106. What snacks should you serve robots at parties?
A: Assorted nuts.
107. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a watch and a lollipop?
A: He got a watch that took a licking but kept on ticking.
108. What did the Mad Scientist write on the robot’s tombstone?
A: “RUST IN PEACE.”
109. What did the little electric robot say to its mother?
A: “I love you watts and watts.”
110. Why did the Mad Scientist take his robot to the psychiatrist?
A: Because it had a screw loose.
111. What kind of doctor operates on Styrofoam robots?
A: A plastic surgeon.
112. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a clock and a rooster?
A: An alarm cluck.
113. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a porcupine and an alarm clock?
A: A stickler for punctuality.
114. How did the Mad Scientist make antifreeze?
A: He put ice cubes in her bed.
115. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a parrot and an army man?
A: A parrot-trooper.
116. What was the football coach looking for in space?
A: An all-star team.
117. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a small communist with a crook on horseback?
A: Little Red Riding Hood.
118. What is the most educated thing in the Mad Scientist’s laboratory?
A: A thermometer, because it has so many degrees.
119. Why did the Mad Scientist throw the thermometer out of the laboratory on a hot day?
A: He wanted to see the temperature
120. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a banana and a banana?
A: A pair of slippers.
121. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a comedian and a spiritualist?
A: A happy medium.
122. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a reindeer and a firefly?
A: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Firefly.
123. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a parrot and a canary?
A: A bird who knows both the words and the music.
124. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a chicken and a television set?
A: A TV show that lays eggs.
125. What kind of jokes do scientists make?
126. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a parrot and a bumblebee?
A: An animal that talks all the time about how busy it is.
127. Why didn’t the Mad Scientist cross the Frankenstein monster with anything?
A: Because the Frankenstein monster doesn’t like to be crossed.
128. Why didn’t the Mad Scientist allow the sick eagle in his laboratory?
A: Because it was illegal (ill eagle).
129. What animal won’t the Mad Scientist allow in his laboratory?
A: A cheetah.
130. Why did the Mad Scientist put an elastic band around his forehead?
A: So he could stretch his imagination.
131. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a sheep and a kangaroo?
A: Woollen jumpers.
132. What goes through water but doesn’t get wet?
A: A ray of light.
133. How long can a person live without a brain?
A: How old are you?
134. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a clown and a chicken?
A: A comedi-hen.
135. What did the Mad Scientist get when he crossed a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A: Yam sessions.
136. What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
A: “I lava you.
137. How do you cut the ocean in two?
A: With a sea-saw.
138. What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
A: “You attract me.”
139. What does a computer call its mother and father?
A: Mama and data.
140. What does a proud computer call his little son?
A: A microchip off the old block.
141. What happens if you cross a midget and a computer?
A: You get a short circuit.