100+ Clean Jokes For Kids

looking for clean jokes for kids? we got them we have collected these best clean jokes from all over the internet and made the compilation of clean jokes for kids which is suitable for everyone enjoy these jokes with your parents, teachers, and friends have a fun.

Clean jokes for kids

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

A: He wanted to find Pluto!

Q: What is green and has yellow wheels?

A: Grass…..I lied about the wheels!

Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?

A: Her nose!

Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?

A: He wanted to make a clean get away!

Q: Why did Billy go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn’t find a date!

Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?

A: So they can fight knights!

Q: Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?

A: Because it’s too cold out-tide!

Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A: A minnie van!

Q: Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?

A: Because they take too long to change!

Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: To catch up on his sleep!

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?

A: Write on!

Q: What is green and has yellow wheels?

A: Grass…..I lied about the wheels!

Q: What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?

A: Lonely

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel.

Q: Why do you go to bed every night?

A: Because the bed won’t come to you!

Q: Why do bicycles fall over?

A: Because they are two-tired!

Best clean and safe jokes for kids

Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

A: Someday my prints will come!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me and we will go places!

Q: Which hand is it better to write with?

A: Neither, it’s best to write with a pen!

Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck!

Q: Did you hear about the robbery last night?

A: Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!

Q: What part of the car is the laziest?

A: The wheels, because they are always tired!

Q: Why do you go to bed every night?

A: Because the bed won’t come to you!

Q: What makes the calendar seem so popular?

A: Because it has a lot of dates!

Q: What is blue and goes ding dong?

A: An Avon lady at the North Pole!

Q: We’re you long in the hospital?

A: No, I was the same size I am now!

Q: What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?

A: Keep your shirt on!

Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

A: I think I’m coming down with something!

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

A: I’ll meet you at the corner.

Q: Why was the broom late?

A: It over swept!

Q: Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?

A: They had just finished a March of 31 days.

Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

A: He wanted to find Pluto!

Q: Did you hear about the robbery last night?

A: Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!

Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?

A: Her nose!

Q: Why was the belt arrested?

A: Because it held up some pants!

Q: What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

A: Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Q: Why did Billy go out with a prune?

A: Because he couldn’t find a date!

Q: Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?

A: Because it’s too cold out-tide!

Q: How do you cure a headache?

A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck!

Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A: A minnie van!

Clean jokes for toddlers

Q: Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?

A: Because they take too long to change!

Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: To catch up on his sleep!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me and we will go places!

Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?

A: He wanted to make a clean get away!

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?

A: You look a bit flushed.

Q: What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?

A: Keep your shirt on!

Q: How do you cure a headache?

A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Q: What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q: Which hand is it better to write with?

A: Neither, it’s best to write with a pen!

Q: Why was the belt arrested?

A: Because it held up some pants!

Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

A: I think I’m coming down with something!

Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: What goes up and down but does not move?

A: Stairs

Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go?

A: On a diet

Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

A: Someday my prints will come!

Q: What makes the calendar seem so popular?

A: Because it has a lot of dates!

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

A: I’ll meet you at the corner.

Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?

A: Write on!

Q: What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?

A: Lonely

Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go?

A: On a diet

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel.

Q: Why do bicycles fall over?

A: Because they are two-tired!

Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?

A: So they can fight knights!

Q: Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?

A: They had just finished a March of 31 days.

Q: Why was the broom late?

A: It over swept!

Q: What part of the car is the laziest?

A: The wheels, because they are always tired!

Q: What is blue and goes ding dong?

A: An Avon lady at the North Pole!

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?

A: You look a bit flushed

Q: We’re you long in the hospital?

A: No, I was the same size I am now!

Q: What goes up and down but does not move? A: Stairs

Q: What keys can’t open locks?

A: Monkeys, donkeys, and turkeys.

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

A: They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a match?
A: A cat lights on its feet, and a match lights on its head.

Q: What grows up while it grows down?

A: A baby duckling.

Q: What’s gray on the inside and clear on the outside? An elephant in a

A: sandwich bag.

Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?

A: So they can hunt knights.

Q: Why is a snake so smart?

A: Because you can’t pull its leg.

Q: Why do giraffes have such small appetites?

A: Because with them, a little goes a long way.

Q: What is as big as an elephant but doesn’t weigh an ounce?

A: An elephant’s shadow.

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

A: “Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?”

Q: First octopus: What do you like least about being an octopus?

A: Second octopus: Washing my hands before dinner.

Q: Which is richer, a bull or a cow?

A: A bull. The cow gives you milk; the bull charges you.

Q: How many skunks does it take to smell up a neighborhood?

A: Just a phew.

What is a polar bear’s favorite place to vacation?

A: Brrr-muda.

Q: What is a woodpecker’s favorite kind of joke?

A: A knock-knock.

Q: What is an eel’s favorite card game?

A: Glow Fish.

Q: Why did the turtle go to the therapist?

A: He wanted to come out of his shell.

Q: How does a beaver know which tree to cut down?

A: Whichever one he chews.

Q: What would you call a snake that drinks too much coffee?

A: A hyper viper.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a baseball player with a frog?

A: An outfielder who catches flies and then eats them.

Q: What kind of flowers would you give an absent-minded squirrel?

A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.

Q: How do pigs say good-bye?

A: With hogs and kisses.

Q: What is an owl’s favorite mystery?

A: A whooo-dunit.

Q: What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A: “Wheeeee!”

Q: What do you call a story told by a giraffe?

A: A tall tale.

Q: Why are frogs so happy?

A: They eat whatever bugs them.

Q: What does a bankrupt frog say?

A: “Baroke, baroke, baroke.”

Q: Did you hear about the skunk that went to church?

A: He had his own pew.

Q: What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because he croaks every night.

Q: Why are anteaters so healthy?

A: Because they are high on ant-i-bodies!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To show the opossum it could be done.

Q: Where does a cat go when he loses his tail?

A: A retail store.

Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested?

A: He was charged with battery.

Q: Where are dogs scared to go?

A: The flea market.

Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?

A: She wanted to be polyunsaturated.

Q: Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

A: Because of its bark.

Q: Why do lobsters have a hard time sharing?

A: Because they’re shellfish.

Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: A cat has its claws at the end of its paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a
clause.

Q: Have you heard about the dog that ate an onion?

A: Its bark was much worse than its bite.

Q: A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days, and leaves on
Friday. How does he do it?

A: His horse’s name is Friday.

Q: Did you hear the one about the lion who ate clowns?

A: You’ll roar.

Q: What do you call an overweight cat?

A: A flabby tabby.

Q: What is worse than a giraffe with a sore neck?

A: A centipede with athlete’s foot.

Q: What did the five-hundred-pound canary say as he walked down the
street?

A: “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.”

Q: What do you call a cat that’s been thrown in the dryer?

A: Fluffy.

Q: What do you call a cat that gets thrown in the dryer and is never found
again?

A: Socks.

Q: What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear.

Q: What do you get when you put a bird in the freezer?

A: A brrrd.

Q: When is fishing not a good way to relax?

A: When you’re the worm.

Q: Why can’t you play hide-and-seek with poultry in a Chinese restaurant?

A: Because of the Peking duck.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?

A: A fsh.

Q: Who’s a better boxer, a bean or a chicken?

A: The bean—he’s no chicken.

Q: What is a shark’s favorite game?

A: Swallow the Leader.

Q: What do pigs put in their hard drives?

A: Sloppy disks.

Q: Why did the kangaroo lose the basketball game?

A: He ran out of bounds.

Q: What birds spend time on their knees?

A: Birds of prey.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

A: Big holes all over Australia.

Q: What’s the difference between a soccer player and a dog?

A: The soccer player wears a team uniform, the dog just pants.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bunny rabbit with the World Wide
Web?

A: A hare Net.

Q: Why are elephants known to hold grudges?

A: They can forgive, but they can’t forget.

Q: Did you hear about the duck that was flying upside down?

A: It quacked up.

Q: Where do fish like to go on vacation?

A: Finland.

Q: How do you find a spider on the Internet?

A: Check out his Web site.

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?

A: Lost.

Q: Why did the giraffe graduate early?

A: He was head and shoulders above the rest.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?

A: The North Poll.

Q: What did Winnie the Pooh pack for his vacation?

A: The bear essentials.

Q: How did the owl with laryngitis feel?

A: He didn’t give a hoot.

Q: What does an educated owl say?

A: “Whom.”

Q: What should you do when someone throws a goose at you?

A: Duck.

Q: What do you say when someone throws a duck at another duck?

A: “Duck, duck!”

Q: What do you say when someone throws a goose at a duck?

A: “Duck, duck! Goose!”

Q: What bird is always out of breath?

A: A puffin.

Q: Have you heard the story about the peacock that crossed the road?

A: It really is a colorful tail….

Q: What’s the difference between a tiger and a lion?

A: The tiger has the mane part missing.

Q: How does a leopard change its spots?

A: When it’s tired of one spot, it just moves to another.

Q: What goes “peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang”?

A: A bunch of chickens in a yard full of balloons.

Q: Where do little dogs sleep when they go camping?

A: In pup tents.

Q: What bone will a dog never eat?

A: A trombone.

Q: What wears a coat in the winter and pants all summer?

A: A dog.

Q: What did the dalmatian say after he finished eating?

A: “That hit the spots.”

Q: How do you find your dog if he’s lost in the woods?

A: Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark.

Q: Where do fish take a bath?

A: In a river basin.

Q: What animal makes it hard to carry on a conversation?

A: A goat, because he always wants to butt in.

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