Nothing like some good old fashion funny cat puns to ease outta the BLAH zone Cats can get us have a very nice fun time. Their way of acting at home sometimes catches our attention, so much that as much as we observe them trying to understand them, no matter how well we know them, we don’t always get the answer we are looking for .
It is these mysteries that surround these felines that have inspired many people, both to create cat jokes, as well as cat puns. Spend a few fun minutes with us and have good time.
Q: Why should you never give your social media information to a strange cat?
A: They might stalk you.
Q: Why was the cat late for the meeting?
A: She didn’t get the memeow.
Q: Why are lions always so well groomed?
A: They take pride in their appearance.
Q: Why don’t you ever see cats riding in a Porsche?
They only drive Purrari.
Q: Why don’t cats qualify for social assistance?
A: They can always get a job as a paper shredder.
Q: Why are cats so healthy?
A: They eat a lot of as-purr-agus.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite video game? A: Prince of Purrsia.
Q: When is it bad luck to see a black cat? A: When you’re a mouse.
Q: In what month do cats do the least amount of sleeping?
Q: Why did the woman drop her husband off at the humane society?
A: He was allergic to the cat.
Q: Why do cats hate marketing firms?
A: They don’t get any royalties for HELLO KITTY.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a magician? A: Buy it a magic kit.
Q: What time is it when ten tigers are chasing a zookeeper?
A: Ten after one.
Q: Why don’t you ever see a cat at Tim Hortons?
A: The doughnuts make them gonuts.
Q: Why do so many Colorpoint Shorthairs have weight issues?
A: They don’t do enough catdiovascular activities.
Q: Why don’t cats mess around with bees?
A: They don’t want hives.
Q: What type of necklace do rich cats wear at weddings?
A: They wear purrls.
Q: Why couldn’t the billionaire fit through the door?
A: He was a fat cat.
Q: What do you call a cat with a jar of peanut butter stuck on his head? A: Stuck.
Q: What breed of lynx is great at fishing? A: The bobbercat.
Q: What did the cat say when she got in trouble for sitting on the coffee table? A: “I’ve only just scratched the surface.”
Q: What was the name of the cat that was famous for his cubism and abstract paintings?
A: Pablo Purrcaso.
Q: Why does Toys-R-Us employ a lot of cats to hunt for mice?
A: The cats work for free because they like squeak toys.
Q: What flower do cats buy on Mother’s Day?
A: Tiger lilies.
Q: Why don’t dogs ever throw each other surprise parties?
A: Because someone always lets the cat out of the bag.
Q: Why do cats make good landscapers? A: They’re a pro at using the lawn meower.
Q: Why do cats love bowling?
A: They always get a purrfect score.
Q: Where is the only place that cats can sleep but you can’t?
A: In your lap.
Q: Where can you find the ancient remains of mummified cats?
A: At the meowseum.
Q: How do you know if a cat has a lot of money?
A: When they’re driving around in a Jaguar.
Q: How do cats cool down in the summer? A: With a glass of m-iced tea.
Q: What do dogs call it when their owner brings home another feline?
A: They call it a cataclysm.
Q: How do cats say hi to a mouse? A: “Pleased to eat you.”
Q: Why don’t tigers eat clowns?
A: They taste funny.
Q: Why did the cat feel sick after he swallowed the car keys?
A: He had lockjaw.
Q: How did the Maine Coon get mistaken for a dog?
A: She was mis-cat-egorized.
Q: Why are lions always in great shape? A: They spend a lot of time at the jungle gym.
Q: How did ancient cats honor the glorious dead?
A: They erected a monmewment.
Q: What do cats say when they come across a cow that doesn’t moo?
A: “Cattle got your tongue?”
Q: How do felines protest a store they don’t like?
A: They boycatt it.
Q: Why don’t cats ever need to see the chiropractor?
A: They have great pawsture.
Q: Why was the humane society empty?
A: It hadn’t rained cats and dogs in months.
Q: Why did the Bengal have a bad time on her blind date?
A: She got catfished.
Q: Why are cats so jumpy on February 29th?
A: It’s a leap day.
Q: Why don’t cats ever tell soup jokes? A: They don’t want to be a laughing-stock.
Q: Why are cats always telling the same story?
A: They only have one tail.
Q: Why did the cat start acting crazy after running through the forest?
A: He was covered in luna-ticks.
Q: How do you get a cat to start using their bed?
A: Tell them it’s off limits.
Q: Why do kittens get free drinks at restaurants?
A: Their parents are good catstomers.
Q: How do you shrink a cat?
A: Feed it condensed milk.
Q: What do you call it when someone watches all the Garfield movies in a row? A: A cat movie meowathon.
Q: How do cats eat dinner when they’re in space?
A: They eat their food from a satellite dish.
Q: Why don’t you ever see cats fighting in a tailor shop?
A: They’re too busy sizing each other up.
Q: Did you hear about the Feline Titanic? A: It hit a miceberg and then catsized.
Q: What did the girl cat say when the boy cat said he would die for her?
A: “Oh my, how many times?”
Q: What song do jungle cats sing at the dance club?
A: ♫ Savannah ooh na-na ♫
Q: Which famous pastry chef can talk to cats?
A: The Cat Whiskerer.
Q: Why don’t cats get into fights with mops?
A: The mops always wipe the floor with them.
Q: What did the cat say after scratching the new couch?
A: “Sofar so good.”
Q: How are cats able to drink from the Milky Way?
A: They use the Big Dipper.
Q: What do cats drink when they’re in a coma?
Q: What is the saddest breed of cat? A: Russian Blue.
Q: What sort of steps should you take if you’re being chased by a tiger?
A: Big ones.
Q: Why do a lot of cats choose cake baking as a career?
A: They’re skilled whiskers.
Q: Why do mice often have a full calendar of social events?
A: Cats are always inviting them over for dinner.
Q: What do leopards dip their French fries in?
Q: Why can’t leopards remember anyone’s telephone number?
A: They have a spotty memory.
Q: If a truck runs on gas, and a microwave runs on electricity, what does a cat run on?
Q: What does Mom yell when she wants her kittens to get ready for school?
A: “Let’s cat this show on the road!”
Q: Why do cats always fight over who gets to play the drums?
A: Their favorite type of instrument is purrcussion.
Q: What has two legs, a mane, and looks like half a lion?
A: The front half a lion.
Q: Why didn’t the cat run up the tree?
A: It was scared of the rough bark.
Q: Why do cats go crazy when they see a Dairy Queen?
A: They love their mice-cream sandwiches.
Q: Why didn’t the cat invest in the pet store franchise?
A: He had mixed felines about it.
Q: Why don’t Tabbys make good thieves? A: They’re always cat red-handed.
Q: Why don’t cats ever sleep underneath bright lamps?
A: They don’t want to feel light-headed.
Q: Why did the cat cry for help after knocking over the bowl of raspberries? A: She was in a jam.
Q: What number do cats phone to pay their parking tickets?
A: They call the fee line.
Q: How do you get a cat in a hot air balloon to fetch the paper?
A: You can’t. It’s beneath them.
Q: What should you do if you and your friend are being chased by a tiger?
A: Outrun your friend.
Q: When do cats like to play the piano? A: When everyone is sleeping.
Q: How do leopards turn invisible?
A: Using spot remover.
Q: How do you cure your cat if it gets amnesia?
A: Take it for a run to jog its memory.
Q: What did the hairless Sphinx cat wear to the wedding?
A: His birthday suit.
Q: Why aren’t cats allowed in church? A: Because when the cat’s away, the mice will pray.
Q: What do you call a one-eyed cat?
A: You call him a cyclawops.
Q: Why do cats prefer Twitter to Facebook?
A: It’s easier to find lunch when the prey is tweeting.
Q: Why aren’t snowmen afraid of lions? A: They can’t get frostbite.
Q: What do you call a tiger that’s been stolen from a zoo?
Q: How do you train a cat to walk a tightrope?
A: Put it on a well-balanced diet.
Q: What do cats eat when they want a light snack?
A: A lampshade.
Q: What does a feral Persian call his bowling partner?
A: An ally cat.
Q: What do you call a tiger playing basketball with a duck?
A: A ball-loon animal.
Q: Why did the cat quit her job as a tailor and become a lawyer?
A: She wanted more money and to keep sewing.
Q: Why do cats sleep under cars on a school night?
A: Because they have to wake up oily.
Q: Why don’t jaguars like big hard drives? A: They’re jealous of their mega bites.
Q: Why don’t cats eat turkey?
A: They think it tastes fowl.
Q: What do you call a scruffy-looking cat with blue eyes?
Q: Which breed spends the longest time grooming their hair?
A: The American Curl.
Q: Where do kittens learn to swim?
A: In the kitty pond.
Q: How do you get a cat to get back to work?
A: Tell it to stop lion around.
Q: What do cats spray around their necks to attract a cute boyfriend?
Q: What do ghost cats like for dinner? A: Evaporated milk.
Q: Why do zookeepers make good crime solvers?
A: They can always find the missing lynx.
Q: How do you say mouse in the cat language?
Q: What do you get when a dog meets a cat driving a steamroller?
A: You get an area rug.
Q: What do you call a pot of water with seafood and cats in it?
A: Clam clowder
Q: What do you call a kitten that pounces on your head every morning at 6am?
A: An alarm cat.
Q: Who takes care of a princess’s cats when she goes on vacation?
A: Her furry godmother.
Q: What type of cat makes a great tightrope walker?
A: An acrocat.
Q: What’s the difference between a lion’s roar and grandpa’s snoring?
A: The roar can only be heard up to 5 miles away.