105 Horse puns You Can’t Help But Laugh At

Looking for funny horse Puns? This is the best collection of Puns about horses you will find anywhere. A horse might not think these puns are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This collection of horse jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world!

List Of Best Horse Puns

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
A: Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.

Q: Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
A: The costs were mounting.

Q: How could you tell the horse gained weight?
A: It had extra girth.

Q: How do you wash a horse?
A: On a sponge-line.

Q: How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
A: They get told a tail.

Q: How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
A: Snide-saddle.

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
A: The broncosaurus.

Q: Why would a horse make a good president? A: They know how to lead.

Q: What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
A: Lots of horsepower.

Q: How does a horse make paper mâché?
A: With newspaper clip-clop-pings.

Q: What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A: A horse-shoe.

Q: What does a horse call its treats?
A: My greatest preakness.

Q: Where do the cool horses live?
A: In rad-docks.

Q: Why did the pony turn himself in?
A: He felt rem-horse.

Q: How did the horse get up the stairs?
A: He mounted them.

Q: Why was the horse such a good dancer?
A: It perfected its halturn.

Q: Why was the horse a great editor?
A: She was very thorough bred.

Q: How do horses show gratitude?
A: Flank you very much.

Q: What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
A: “I lope so!”

Q: Where do horses get their mane cut?
A: The hair-dressager.

Q: What would a winged horse play in a band?
A: The pegabass guitar.

Q: What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
A: I canter even.

Q: What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
A: It scallops outta there.

Q: How could you tell the horse was getting old?
A: It was wither-ing away.

Q: How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
A: They horse-boo.

Q: Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
A: They wanted it to be less green.

Q: What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? A: Jockey.

Q: Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A: A manewer model.

Q: What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A: A keg-asus.

Q: How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A: A stud book.

Q: What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
A: Carol racing.

Q: What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A: A pegaLush bath bomb.

Q: How does a horse tow its trailer?
A: With a Ford Bronco.

Q: What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
A: Pe-grass-us.

Q: What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
A: Halt-her!

Q: Why did the horse go to jail?
A: The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
A: Bolt.

Q: Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
A: Its voice was a bit hoarse.

Q: What does a workhorse like to drink?
A: A Moscow Mule.

Q: What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A: A volcanic stirruption.

Q: What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A: A shire.

Q: Where do horses get their weaves from?
A: Mane.

Q: What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
A: “Dis-mount is mine.”

Q: Why did the horse like her new backpack?
A: The straps were adju-stable.

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store? A: No-fillies.

Q: How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
A: She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”

Q: What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
A: It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.

Q: Why did the horse climb Everest?
A: She liked mount-ains.

Q: What do you call old horses?
A: Ancient roans.

Q: How did the ponies stay in touch?
A: C-horse-pondence.

Q: What is the coldest type of horse?
A: A freezian.

Beat funny horse puns

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
A: Neighhhbelline.

Q: Why does the horse go to school?
A: It brings her fulfillyment.

Q: Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
A: It was feeling bucky.

Q: What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
A: Horseback sliding.

Q: What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
A: “Why is your furlong?”

Q: Where do horses go on vacation?
A: Flankfurt.

Q: Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
A: Diagonal Alley.

Q: How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
A: Peg-asus legs.

Q: How did the pony get the bugs away?
A: It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.

Q: What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
A: Call the marrier!

Q: What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
A: Mustangs.

Q: What do you call a horse running on a table?
A: A counter canter.

Q: Where do horses buy groceries?
A: Whinny-Dixie.

Q: What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
A: With a curry comb.

Q: How did the horse break into the mainframe?
A: It was a hack.

Q: Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
A: He was flo-wing.

Q: What cartoon do horses like to watch?
A: Whinny the Pooh.

Q: What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
A: You didn’t turnout.

Q: What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
A: Docked.

Q: What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
A: Pegaflushes.

Q: How did the horse solve a murder?
A: Compiled newspaper clippings.

Q: What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? A: The Foxtrot.

Q: Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
A: They’re hunters.

Q: Why is Pegasus so smart?
A: He’s all kno-wing.

Q: What did the ponies do when it was raining? A: Stay ind-horse.

Q: What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
A: “I would dapple.”

Q: What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
A: “Of course, my horse.”

Q: What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
A: The main horse.

Q: Where do most horses work for their first job?
A: Re-tail stores.

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
A: Canterlope.

Q: What do horses eat with their salad? A: Dressage-ing.

Q: What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
A: “May the horse be with you.”

Q: What do you call a pony running in a circle? A: Centrifugal horse.

Q: What do winged horses attend in school? A: Pegclasses.

Q: What does a horse call her best friend?
A: Her mane chick.

Q: Why do horses make good lawyers?
A: Attention to de-tail.

Q: Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? A: They were down by the bay.

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Saddleball.

Q: What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A: A rein-bow.

Q: Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
A: She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.

Q: Where do horses go to the bathroom?
A: The bathroom stall-ion.

Q: Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
A: It was foal.

Q: Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
A: She was flanking on it.

Q: How do horses greet each other?
A: “Hayyyyy.”

Q: How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
A: He herd.

Q: Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
A: She mane-tains it.

Q: Why did the horse never get cold?
A: It was a Dutch warmblood.

Q: What do horses get after graduating university?
A: A pedegree.

Q: How does a horse get a suit fitted?
A: With a tail-or.

Q: How did the horse make payments?
A: In in-stallion-ments.

Q: How do horses get to another star system? A: They travel through intergalloptic space.

Q: What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
A: Colt-on Underwood.

Q: What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
A: That’s an equestionable decision.

Q: What do horses use to eat?
A: Breastplates.

Q: What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A: A Fjord Focus.

Q: Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
A: It was a huge end-horse-ment.

Q: How does a horse drink wine?
A: With a de-canter.

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