The Absolutely Best Birds Puns Ever

The Absolutely Best Birds Puns Ever

Looking for funny bird puns Then you’re going to love this collection because Birds may not be as fluffy as dogs or as curious as cats but they are surely a star in their own right. They are smart, loyal and ridiculously charming.

And you know what else?

They can be seriously very funny, too. This collection of adorable bird puns can prove that.

Hilariously Funny Bird puns

Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He was not what he was cracked up to be!

Q: How long do chickens usually work?
A: Around the cluck!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he was not a chicken!

Q: What do you call a canary that flies into the pastry dish?
A: Tweetie pie!

Q: When should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s going cheep (cheap)

Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With its sparrowchute

Q: Where do birds invest their money?
A: In the stork market

Q: Why did the bird go to the gift shop?
A: Because he wanted a tweet (treat)

Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A: A headbanger

Q: What do Scottish owls sing?
A: Owld Lang Syne

Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across

Q: What do you call a bird in the winter?
A: Brrr-d

Q: What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?
A: Politics

Q: How do you catch a tame bird?
A: Tame way — unique up on it.

Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird? A: Fast food

Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

Q: What do you get if you cross a canary and a 50-foot long snake?
A: A sing-a-long

Q: Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? A: Because if he lifted that leg off the ground he would fall down

Q: What do you call the place where parrots make films?
A: Pollywood

Q: If there’s 4 birds sitting on a fence and you get a gun and shoot one, how many are left?
A: None. The rest fly away.

Q: What soap do birds use?
A: Dove

Q: What do you call a bird that digs underground?
A: A mynah bird

Q: What kind of bird works at a construction site?
A: The crane

Q: Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A: Because he had a very big bill

Q: What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat?
A: A polynomeal (polynomial)

Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey

Q: What kind of birds do you have to keep locked up?
A: Jailbirds

Q: Why was the sparrow in the library?
A: It was looking for bookworms.

Q: What bird is always depressed?
A: The blue jay

Q: What did one egg say to the other egg? A: Let’s get crackin’

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a pig?
A: A bird that hogs the conversation

Q: What is even smarter than a talking bird?
A: A spelling bee

Q: What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb?
A: A bald eagle

Q: Which side of a parrot has the prettiest feathers?
A: The outside

Q: Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
A: Because it was in da skies (disguise)

Q: How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
A: Send him to polytechnic.

Q: What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A: A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird

Q: What figure describes a lost parrot?
A: A polygon

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?
A: A carrot

Q: What birds are found in Portugal?
A: Portu-geese

Q: When does a teacher carry birdseed? A: When there is a parrot-teacher conference

Q: What bird is with you at every meal?
A: A swallow

Q: What’s a parrot’s favorite game?
A: Monopoly

Q: What is a parrot’s favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak

Q: Why does the bird bring toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he is a party pooper

Q: What kind of bird can carry the most weight?
A: The crane

Bird puns

Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?
A: Tweetie Pie

Q: What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A: A walkie-talkie

Q: What kind of bird runs the church?
A: A cardinal

Q: What do you call a sick eagle?
A: Illegal

Q: What is a pigeon’s favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast

Q: What’s noisier than a whooping crane? A: A trumpeting swan

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot

Q: Where does a peacock go when it loses its tail?
A: A re-tail store

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: A Tweetment

Q: How did the bird break into the house? A: With a crow bar

Q: What did the baby owl’s parents say when he wanted to go to a party?
A: You re not owld enough

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a tiger?
A: I don’t know, but when it talks you better listen carefully.

Q: What is a polygon (poly gone)?
A: A dead parrot

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels (bay-gulls)

Q: What’s smarter than a talking parrot? A: A spelling bee

Q: Did you hear the story about the peacock?
A: Yes, it’s a beautiful tale.

Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird

Q: What do you get when you cross a bird and a lawn mower?
A: Shredded tweet

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk

Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: Because they kept saying “bach bach”

Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? A: Owlgebra

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they can’t remember the words

Q: How do crows stick together in a flock? A: Velcrow

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test

Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated

Q: How do blue jays stay fit?
A: Wormups

Q: Did you hear the joke about the broken egg?
A: Yes, it cracked me up.

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