These pig jokes Will make You squeal with laughter
Best Pig jokes
1: Why don’t our friends do well in boxing?
A: Because the pigger they are, the larder they fall!
2: Who does the dirty, hungry little pig always obey?
A: His mudder and fodder!
3: What is the worst disease that a pig magician can get?
A: Trick-inosis!
4: Who won the 4-H beauty contest?
A: A sow—she was the pig of the crop!
5: What do you feed a 1,200-pound ferocious pig?
A: Anything it wants!
6: Which great comedian loved pigs the most?
A: Jimmy Durante-because he always sang “Oink-a-dink-a-doo!”
7: Who saved Pigtown from the rats?
A: The Pied Piper of Ham-lin!
8: Which pig with a college degree tastes the best at dinnertime?
A: The grad-u-ate!
9: Which animals owe their lives to the wonders of medical science?
A: Cured hams!
10: Where do these long-snouted drivers get their cars cleaned?
A: At a hog wash!
11: What does a pig use to play pool?
A: A bar-b-cue!
12: Where did the pig jogger injure himself?
A: In the hamstring!
13: Where do wild boars have dental problems?
A: In Alabama, because that’s where you’ll find
Tuskaloosa!
14: Why did Porky’s girl friend Petunia go to the hair dresser’s?
A: She wanted a pigsy haircut!
15: What do you call a pig jog- ger’s tired hooves?
A: Pickled pig’s feet!
16: When Swineland authors sit down at the typewriter, what kind of stories do they write?
A: Pig tales!
17: When pigs come to New York City, what sights interest them the most?
A: Central Pork and the Stock Market!
18: What does a pig wrestler say when pinned (penned)?
A: Oinkle!
19: How did the 2-foot tall pig-a pigmy-get into the Mational Basketball Association?
A: He lied about his height!
20: What do our hog friends like to do during the summer?
A: Go on a pignic!
21: When don’t pigs laugh at comedians?
A: At a roast!
22: What is the most boring job for pigs in the U.S. Navy?
A: Scraping boarnacles off of ships!
23: How do we know our swine friends do well in high business circles?
A: Because ham goes well with big cheeses!
24: Why do pigs like to dig up the ground with their noses?
A: They’re looking for their roots!
25: What is a hog’s favorite dessert?
A: Butter pigcan icecream!
26: What did the Three Little Pigs finally decide to get?
A: Huff-and-puff insurance!
27: What do you call a snobbish, high-class pig?
A: Snooty!
28: What did Porky Pig affectionately call his creator?
A: Oinkle Walt Disney!
29: Why do pigs like lemonade on a hot summer evening?
A: It’s a pig-me-up!
30: At what Olympigs event do
our friends excel?
A: The piggyback race!
31: What do pigs eat in China?
A: Sow Mein!
32: Do pigs like to play Monopoly?
A: Sure, but all they want to own is Pork Place!
33: What do you call someone who loves to spend 24 hours a day with pigs?
A: Pigculiar, to say the least!
34: How do you make pork loin?
A: Send it to college!
35: Why do so many porkers end
up in Hollywood?
A: They’re all hams at heart!
36: Who just lost his job as emcee of Miss Pig America?
A: Bert Porks!
37: How do you cure ham?
A: Send it to bed and give it two aspirins every four hours!
38: What do they call a swine with two wives?
A: A pigamist!
39: Why do our pig friends shun big cities?
A: They prefer to live in small hamlets!
40: What Pigland teen star played in “The Lardy Boys’ on TV?
A: Porker Stevenson!
41: Where do pigs love to eat?
A: Anyplace but homethey just love to “pig out”!
42: What did they hunger to call it when Porky the track star got into the Guinness Book of World Records?
A: Pig’s feat!
43: Where do Oriental pigs like to vacation?
A: In Singapork!
44: What illness is most common to pigs?
A: A sty in the eye!
45: Why did George Washington Piggy stand up in the boat sailing across the Delaware?
A: He was a show-off-a real Virginia ham!
46: Which writer is an all-time favorite in Pigland?
A: Sir Francis Bacon!
47: What Pennsylvania football team is most popular with pigs?
A: The Pigsburg Squealers!
48: Do pigs have anything to do with hockey?
A: Yes, they like to hit the hockey pork!
49: Which baseball team is a porcine favorite?
A: The Swilladelphia Swillies!
50: Why do pigs have good hand- writing?
A: They practice their penmanship!
51: Why does Jim Henson of the Muppets love Miss Piggy?
A: She really brings home the bacon!
52: What can we say about Miss Piggy’s career in show biz?
A: That she has climbed the larder of success!
53: Which song lyric did Miss Piggy take to heart?
A: You ought to be in pigtures!
54: Why does the pig make a poor driver?
A: Because it’s a road hog!
55: Which magazine is a favorite of our porcine pals?
A: Newsqueak!
56: Who started Pig’s Lib?
A: Gloria Steinham!
57: Why do policemen like to arrest pigs?
A: So they can grill ham!
58: Why did Miss Piggy refuse to go to the beauty parlor?
A: How could anyone improve on pig-fection!
59:why did Miss Piggy really refuse to go to the beauty parlor?
A: She was tired of getting the same old pig-sy haircut!
60:Why didn’t the astronaut land on the Planet of the Pigs?
A: He couldn’t find a porking place!
61:Do pigs like their food?
A: They think it’s just swill!
62:What makes pigs good writers?
A: They’ve always been good pen pals!
63:Are coins in Swineland two-sided?
A: Of course, they are pigheaded and pig-tailed!
64: Where are ants definitely not welcome?
A: At a pignic!
65: Which of our porky pals can become a national poster hero?
A: Smokey the Boar!
66: What did they call Porky when he went to college, starred on the football team, and dated the Prom Queen?
A: Pig Man on Campus!
67: What looks like a bunch of wild pigs, has 66 legs, and plays with a pigskin?
A: The Green Bay Porkers, the Chicago Boars, and the Los Angeles Hams!
68: What do pigs do when they play basketball?
A: Hog the ball!
69: Why do pigs like football in the first place?
A: They get a big kick out of it!
70: Why do Pigland porkers enjoy baseball?
A: They love to root for the New York Oinkees!
