Sssssearching for snake puns if yes thank you are in the right place. Some snakes have a deadly, poisonous bite, while others squeeze the life out of their prey. Many people are afraid of slithering serpents but that doesn’t mean puns about them cant be hiss-terical! You will love learning cool puns about snakes, including their ability to hold back venom if they don’t intend to kill the person or animal they’re biting. python puns, fang funnies, and diamondback delights cause you to giggle from head to rattle!
Q: What snake is a member of the band? A: The RATTLEsnake
Q: What is the most popular snake dialect?
Q: How did the snakes bust out of jail?
A: They scaled the wall.
Q: How do snakes cook pasta?
A: Heat until the water coils or comes to a slither (Boils or comes to a simmer).
Q: What snakes are good at doing sums? A: Adders
Q: What snakes are found on cars?
A: Windshield vipers
Q: What are a snake’s favorite magic spells?
A: Abra-da-cobra and adder-ca-dabra
Q: What’s long, green and goes “hith”?
A: A snake with a lisp
Q: What is a snake’s favorite dance?
A: The mamba
Q: What do you call a snake with a great personality?
A: A snake charmer
Q: What do most people do when they see a python?
A: They re-coil
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent
Q: Why couldn’t the snake talk?
A: It had a frog in his throat.
Q: What do you give a sick snake?
Q: What do you call snake without clothes?
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn’t afford plane fare.
Q: Why are snakes hard to fool?
A: You can’t pull their leg.
Q: Why did the viper viper nose?
A: Because the adder adder handkerchief
Q: What snakes are good at sums?
Q: What clothing might sister snakes share?
Q: What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog?
A: A fangfurther
Q: What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A: A boar constrictor
Q: What is another word for a python?
A: A mega-bite
Q: What type of snake does a baby play with?
A: A rattlesnake
Q: What’s a snake’s favorite school subject?
A: Math, because it’s an adder.
Q: What’s a snake’s favorite food?
A: Hiss Cakes
Q: What is a snake’s favorite footwear?
A: Snakers, of course!
Q: What is a snake’s favorite opera?
Q: What’s a snake’s favorite dance?
A: Snake, rattle & roll
Q: What’s a snake’s favorite flower?
Q: What’s a python’s favorite pop group? A: Squeeze
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A: A pie-thon
Q: In which river are you sure to find snakes?
A: The Hiss-issippi River
Q: What did the snake give to his wife?
A: A goodnight hiss
Q: What did the snake say to the cornered rat?
A: Hiss is the end of the line for you!
Q: What did the cobra say to the flute player?
A: “Charmed to meet you!”
Q: Where do snakes go to have fun?
A: The boa-ling alley
Q: Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said “Go forth and multiply”?
A: They couldn’t, they were adders.
Q: What did the snake say when another asked him the time?
A: Don’t asp me!
Q: What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?
A: Stop crying and viper your nose!
Q: What did the naughty little diamondback say to his big sister?
A: “Don’t be such a rattle-tail!”
Q: What snake do you bow to?
A: A kingsnake
Q: Who married the kingsnake?
Q: What kind of snake keep its car the cleanest?
A: A windshield viper
Q: What kind of snake can do math in the dark?
A: A night adder
Q: What kind of snakes get to hug the bride at a wedding?
A: Garter snakes
Q: What kind of snake helps clean the dishes?
A: A dish-viper
Q: What kind of snake can cut a rug with the best of them?
A: A carpet python
Q: What do snakes do after they fight?
A: Hiss and make up
Q: What do snakes use to cut paper?
Q: What do most people do when they see a python?
A: They re-coil.
Q: What does a well-dressed snake wear? A: A boa tie
Q: Why do snakes go to free clinics?
A: They like the sliding scales.
Q: Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
A: They had a crush on each other.
Q: What’s a snake’s favorite TV program? A: Monty Python
Q: What is snake’s favorite subject?
Q: What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
Q: What do you call a reptile that plays baseball?
A: Snake Arrieta
Q: What do you call taking a selfie with a rattlesnake?
A: A missssss-take
Q: What do you call a snake that builds things?
A: A boa constructor
Q: What do you get if you cross a serpent and a trumpet?
A: A snake in the brass
Q: What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A: A feather boa
Q: What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
A: Fang letters
Q: What’s the best thing about deadly snakes?
A: They’ve got poisonality.
Q: What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A: A grass snake
Q: What do you get if you cross a glow-worm with a python?
A: A twenty-foot-long strip-light that can squeeze you to death.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A: A Boeing Constrictor
Q: What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
A: Snakes and Larders
Q: What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball?
A: A bouncing baby boa
Q: What did the ghost yell to scare a snake?
Q: What’s the wrong time to reason with a snake?
A: When it’s throwing a hissy fit
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
A: A jump rope
Q: What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
A: Wait until he’s finished.
Q: How do snakes show they love you?
A: They give you hugs and hisses.
Q: How can you revive a snake that looks dead?
A: With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation
Q: How does a snake shoot something? A: With a boa and arrow
Q: How do you know it’s time to buy a new pair of shoes?
A: When your old ones have snake eyes
Q: How do you measure a snake?
A: In inches. They don’t have any feet.
Q: Did you hear about the man who crossed the snake mafia?
A: He was given the hiss of death.
Q: Did you hear about the two snakes that were in love but related?
A: They were hissing cousins.
Q: Did you hear about the snake love letter?
A: He sealed it with a hiss.
Q: Did you hear about the stupid snake? A: He lost his skin.
Q: If you crossed a snake with a robin, what kind of bird would you get?
A: A swallow
Q: Why can’t you trust snakes?
A: They speak with forked tongues
Q: Why can’t snakes eat soup?
A: No spoon. They only have a forked tongue.
Q: Why do snakes squeeze their food?
A: Because they have no arms to hug it
Q: Why did the snake cross the road?
A: To get to the other s-s-s-side
Q: Why don’t snakes need to weigh themselves?
A: Because they have their own scales
Q: Why couldn’t the female snake have any babies?
A: Because she’d had a hiss-terectomy
Q: Why did the snake laugh so hard she started to cry?
A: She thought the joke was hisss-terical.
Q: Why did the viper want to become a python?
A: He got the coiling.