looking for snake puns? yes, then you are in the right place. Some snakes have a deadly, poisonous bite, while others squeeze the life out of their prey. Many people are afraid of slithering serpents but that doesn’t mean puns about them cant to be hiss-terical! You will love learning cool puns about snakes, including their ability to hold back venom if they don’t intend to kill the person or animal they’re biting. python puns, fang funnies, and diamondback delights cause you to giggle from head to rattle!
The Best Snake Puns
1. My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves Looks like the boa cons tricked her.
2. Some snakes are really good at maths They can be great Adders.
3. I was looking for rubber snakes in Dad’s Toy Store I found them in the rept-aisle.
4. What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he’s finished.
5. Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard It’s a lawnboa.
6. I gave my pet snake some glasses Now he’s a see serpent.
7. A snake charmer was bitten on the lips He didn’t know his asp from his oboe.
8. Do you know the most common snake in Germany is Vindscreen Viper!.
9. Be carefull Don’t throw a snake like a boomerang. It’ll come back to bite you.
10. The short snake is late . When will he arrive, I do not know, but he won’t be long.
11. Do you know snakes can avoid making babies? By Using an Anacondom.
12. I never understood why people are so scared of snakes They’re completely armless.
13. I used to be jealous of Harry Potter for being able to talk to snakes. But it turns out, I’ve been doing it for years.
14. I went to the doctor to see why I had such a big fear of snakes. He said I have a reptile dysfunction.
15. I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters. He was a great πthon.
Great Snake Puns And Jokes
What snake is a member of the band? The Rattlesnake
What is the most popular snake dialect? Boomslang
How did the snakes bust out of jail? They scaled the wall.
How do snakes cook pasta? Heat until the water coils or comes to a slither (Boils or comes to a simmer).
What snakes are good at doing sums? Adders
What snakes are found on cars Windshield vipers
What are a snake’s favorite magic spells? Abra-da-cobra and adder-ca-dabra
What’s long, green and goes “high”? A snake with a lisp
What is a snake’s favorite dance? The mamba
What do you call a snake with a great personality? A snake charmer
What do most people do when they see a python? They re-coil
What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent
Keep reading: 105 Horse puns you can’t help but laugh at
Why couldn’t the snake talk? It had a frog in his throat.
What do you give a sick snake? Asp-irin
What do you call a snake without clothes? Snaked
Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn’t afford plane fare.
Why are snakes hard to fool? You can’t pull their leg.
Why did the viper viper nose? Because the adder adder handkerchief
What snakes are good at sums? Adders
What clothing might sister snakes share? Co-bras
What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog? A fangfurther
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig? A boar constrictor
What is another word for a python? A mega-bite
What type of snake does a baby play with? A rattlesnake
What’s a snake’s favorite school subject? Math, because it’s an adder.
What’s a snake’s favorite food? Hiss Cakes
What is a snake’s favorite footwear? Snakers, of course!
What is a snake’s favorite opera? Wriggletto
What’s a snake’s favorite dance? Snake, rattle & roll
What’s a snake’s favorite flower? Coily-flowers
What’s a python’s favorite pop group? A: Squeeze
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon
In which river are you sure to find snakes? The Hiss-issippi River
What did the snake give to his wife? A goodnight hiss
What did the snake say to the cornered rat? Hiss is the end of the line for you!
What did the cobra say to the flute player? “Charmed to meet you!”
Where do snakes go to have fun? The boa-ling alley
Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said “Go forth and multiply”? They couldn’t, they were adders.
What did the snake say when another asked him the time? Don’t asp me!
What did the mother snake say to her crying baby? Stop crying and viper your nose!
What did the naughty little diamondback say to his big sister? “Don’t be such a rattle-tail!”
What snake do you bow to? A kingsnake
Who married the kingsnake? Queensnake
What kind of snake keep its car the cleanest? A windshield viper
What kind of snake can do math in the dark? A night adder
What kind of snakes get to hug the bride at a wedding? Garter snakes
What kind of snake helps clean the dishes? A dish-viper
What kind of snake can cut a rug with the best of them? A carpet python
What do snakes do after they fight? Hiss and make up
What do snakes use to cut paper? Scissss-ors
What do most people do when they see a python? They re-coil.
What does a well-dressed snake wear? A boa tie
Why do snakes go to free clinics? They like the sliding scales.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married? They had a crush on each other.
What’s a snake’s favorite TV program? A: Monty Python
What is snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-tory
What do snakes put on their kitchen floors? Rep-tiles
What do you call a reptile that plays baseball? Snake Arrieta
What do you call taking a selfie with a rattlesnake? A missssss-take
What do you call a snake that builds things? A boa constructor
What do you get if you cross a serpent and a trumpet? A snake in the brass
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird? A feather boa
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang letters
What’s the best thing about deadly snakes? They’ve got poisonality.
What do you call a snake that informs the police? A grass snake
What do you get if you cross a glow-worm with a python? A twenty-foot-long strip-light that can squeeze you to death.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane? A Boeing Constrictor
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food? Snakes and Larders
Related: Funny Bird Puns
What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball? A bouncing baby boa
What did the ghost yell to scare a snake? “BOA!”
What’s the wrong time to reason with a snake? When it’s throwing a hissy fit
What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A jump rope
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he’s finished.
How do snakes show they love you? They give you hugs and hisses.
How can you revive a snake that looks dead? With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation
How does a snake shoot something? With a boa and arrow
How do you know it’s time to buy a new pair of shoes? When your old ones have snake eyes
How do you measure a snake? In inches. They don’t have any feet.
Did you hear about the man who crossed the snake mafia? He was given the hiss of death.
Did you hear about the two snakes that were in love but related? They were hissing cousins.
Did you hear about the snake love letter? He sealed it with a hiss.
Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin.
If you crossed a snake with a robin, what kind of bird would you get? A swallow
Why can’t you trust snakes?nThey speak with forked tongues
Why can’t snakes eat soup? No spoon. They only have a forked tongue.
Why do snakes squeeze their food? Because they have no arms to hug it
Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other s-s-s-side
Why don’t snakes need to weigh themselves? Because they have their own scales
Why couldn’t the female snake have any babies? Because she’d had a hiss-terectomy
Why did the snake laugh so hard she started to cry? She thought the joke was hisss-terical.
Why did the viper want to become a python? He got the coiling.