Dad jokes for kids to help your dad improve his collection of jokes

Dad jokes for kids to help your dad improve his collection of jokes

Everyone loves cheesy, badly timed dad jokes for kids because they are told by your dad, and you only get one dad right? So help your dad improve his collection of jokes that will make you cringe and laugh at the same time.

This dad jokes for kids will make a great gift, as the giver can write who it’s from on the cover, so dad will think of you while telling his cheesy jokes.

1) What do you call a boy named lee that no one talks to?

Lonely

2) What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

3) Why did the can crusher quit his job?

It was soda pressing

4) What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?

A: Tyrannosaurus Wreck.

5) What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

6) What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?

Nacho cheese.

7) What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

8) what do you call a thieving alligator?

A Crookodile.

9) What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

An Irrelephant.

10) What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious

11) What do you call two fat people having a chat?

A heavy discussion.

12) What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?

A cloud!

13) What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh

14) What do you call a hippies’ wife?

Mississippi

15) What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father in law.

16) What do you call a magic dog?

A Labracadabrador.

17) What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?

A dinosnore

18) What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

19) What do you call a snake that tells jokes?

A riddle snake.

20) What do you call a legless cow?

Ground beef

21) What do you call a Pikachu that is good at hide and seek?

A peekaboo

22) What do you call a sad coffee?

A Depresso.

23) What do you call pigs with wings?

Ham hawks!

24) What do you call a pumpkin that works out?

a JACKED o lantern.

25) What do you call an Alligator in a Vest.

An investigator

26) What do you call an Owl that does magic tricks?

Hoodini

27) What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A “B”

28) What do you call a 100-year-old ant?

An antique

29) What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny

30) What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Pork chop

31) What do you call a girl with a laptop on her head?

Adele (A Dell)

32) What do you call a man with an elephant on his head?

An ambulance

33) What do you call a magician on a plane?

A flying sorcerer!

34) What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

35) What do you call a group of killer whales playing musical instruments?

An Orca-stra

36) What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer

37) What do you call a zebra with no stripes?

A horse

38) What do you call a turtle that flies?

A shell-icopter

39) What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s not going to come.

40) What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?

Nobody nose.

41) What do you call a laughing motorcycle?

A Yamahahaha

42)What do you call a bee that lives in America?

USB

43) What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time

44) What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?

A barbercue

45) What do you call a ghost’s mom and dad?

Transparents

46) What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

47) What do you call a house that likes food?

A Condoment!

48) What do you call a person that chops up cereal.

A cereal killer.

49) What do you call a book that’s about the brain?

A mind reader.

50) What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A candy baa.

51) What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

Private tutor

52) What kind of crackers do fireman like in their soup?

Firecrackers!

53) What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck

54) What sound does a nut makes when it sneezes?

Cashew!

55) What did the mayo say when the refrigerator door opened?

“Close the door! I’m Dressing”

56) Why was the mother firefly unhappy?

Because her children weren’t very bright!

Funny dad jokes for kids

57) Why can’t Martian kitties drink their milk?

Because it’s in flying saucers!

58) What type of bee can’t make up its mind?

A maybe

59) Why the Banana go to the doctor?

Because it was not peeling well

60) How do clams call friends?

On their shelphones

61) How do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat?

A Tyrannosaurus Tex

62) Where do burgers like to dance At a

meatball!

63) What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear

64) Why can you give Elsa a Baloon?

Because she will “let it go” (frozen jokes)

65) Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side No, to get to your house. …Knock, Knock Who’s there? The chicken

66) What is a cats favourite color?

Purrrrrrrple!

67) What do you call an angry pea?

Grum-pea!

68) What does a vegetable wear to the beach?

A Zucchini

69) Why did Mickey go into outer space?

To find Pluto

70) What do snowmen like to do on the weekends?

Chill Out

71) Why did the cucumber call 911?

He was in a pickle

72) Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter

73) Why was the little peanut punished?

Because he made his parents nuts!

74) What’s is a pirate’s Favorite subject?

Arrrrrt!

75) Where do pencils vacation?

Pennsylvania!

76) What did the plate say to the fork?

Lunch is on me!

77) What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?

Geometry

78) What is the best day to go to the beach?

Sun Day

79) Who is Santa’s Favorite singer?

Elf-is Presley

80) What do you call a witch in the beach?

A sand-witch

81) What do you get when you cross a caterpillar with a parrot?

A Walkie-talkie

82) What do ducks get after they eat?

The bill

83) What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wassabee

84) What does a cat have in Common with Christmas?

Sandy Claws!

85) Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle?

Because there are so many Cheetahs!

86) Why are bananas never lonely?

Because they hang around in bunches!

87) Why did the Easter egg hide?

He was a little chicken!

88) What kind of dog has no tail?

A hot dog!

89) How many monsters are good at math?

None, unless you count Dracula!

90) What do you get if you cross a smurf and a cow?

Blue cheese

Dad jokes to make you laugh it loud

91) What do you call a well-dressed ant?

Eleg-ant!

92) What day of the week do eggs hide?

Fry day!

93) Where do insects shop?

At flea markets

94) Why do eggs hate jokes?

Because they crack up!

95) Why did the lion eat a light bulb?

He wanted a light lunch

96) What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing it just waved

97) Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them

98) Where did the cat go after losing its tail?

To the retail store

99) Where do you learn to make ice cream?

At sundae school!

100) Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s okay, he woke up!

101) A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.

102) Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

103) I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

104) Want to hear my pizza joke?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

105) How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Meat patty

106) Why did the octopus beat a shark in a fight?

Well, he was well armed!

107) My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They’re his watch dogs!

108) My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

109) What does a house wear?

Address! (A dress)

110) What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips?

A chipmonk

111) What bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow!

112) What kind of magazines do cows read?

Cattlelogs!

113) What sort of room has no windows or doors?

A mushroom!

114) Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they are shellfish!

115) Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

116) What do you call a pile of cats?

A meow-tain.

117) How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.

118) What kind of vest should you wear in the fall?

A HAR-vest

119) Why are elephants so wrinkled?

Because they take too long to iron!

120) What do you call a bear with no socks on?

Bare-foot.

121) What has four wheels and flies?

Garbage trucks!

122) Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school.

123) Which flower talks the most?

Tulips, because they have two lips!

124) Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs!

125) Why is Dracula so sad?

Because he had some BAT news.

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