You’d think that coming up with puns about cows would be easy, but it turns out there aren’t a lot of natural word pairings.
Cows are lovely, gentle creatures that are most famous for producing dairy products. But what else… What do they like to eat? Munch on grass, and spend a lot of time indoors! There’s not a lot to work with here unless you want to resort to lame jokes about “milking it” or something like that.
These funny cow puns might just be the answer you need to save this post from being boring as milk.
Cows also tend to sleep standing up and don’t have a lot of visible body hair – although they do have quite a bit of invisible hair… If you know what we mean. So yeah, these puns may not be the easiest thing in the world but we think you’ll agree they are worth chewing on!
Collection of the Best Cow Puns
1 Did you hear about the cow who forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused
2. The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound a sleep in the fields
3. Did you hear about that romantic cow who took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies
4. The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator
5. In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator
6. The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me
7. The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef
8. Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears
9. Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City
10. Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs
Related: Funniest Puns Ever
11. I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk
12. You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria
13. The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound a sleep in the fields
14. The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security
15. The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each udder dry
16. Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk
17. If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream
18. Sweden will never export cattle because they want to keep them in Stockholm
19. The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore
20. The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo
21. Calves take well to bottle feeding because one nipple is as good as an udder.
22. I’ve never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food.
Cow Pun Names
6. Leonardo DiCowprio
10. Moolissa McCarthy
12. Moo Radley
13. Budder Pickle
Best 70 cow Puns and Jokes
1. Where do Russians get their milk? – From Mos-cows.
2. What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? – Cowboom.
3. What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? – Steer Wars.
4. Why was the cow always exercising? – To build up its moo-scles.
5. Why was the cow so scared? – Because he was a cow-ard.
6. What happens when a cow stops shaving? – It grows a Moostache.
7. What does a cow ride when his car is broken? – A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
8. What would you hear at a cow concert? – Moo-sic.
9. When doesn’t a bull have horns? – When it’s a bullfrog.
10. What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire? – Dracowla.
11. Where do cows get together? – The meet market.
12. What do cows like to eat for lunch? – Moo-shroom soup.
13. What do cows get when they are sick? – Hay Fever.
14. What country do cows love to visit? – Moo Zealand.
15. What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom? – A cow walking backwards.
16. What South American dance do cows like to do? – The Rump-a.
17. What is the difference between a car and a bull? – A car only has one horn.
18. Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? – He wanted rich milk.
19. Where do pigs learn about magic? – School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
20. What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake? – Milkshake.
21. Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck? – Because her horn didn’t work.
22. Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer? – He wanted her to hit the hay.
23. What newspaper do cows read? – The Daily Moos.
24. What did the cow who barged the other cow say? – Moo-ve!.
25. What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf? – An animal that mooed at the full moon.
26. What’s the best way to make a bull sweat? – Put him in a tight jumper.
27. Why did the cow jump over the moon? – To get to the Milky Way.
28. Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? – No, only medium rare.
29. How do you make a milkshake? – Give a cow a pogo stick.
30. What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? – Your calves.
31. Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? – He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
32. How did the calf’s final exam turn out? – Grade A.
33. Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle? – It wants to keep its Stockholm.
34. Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? – In his beef case.
35. What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat? – Bullogna.
36. Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn? – He was too much of a bully.
37. Why do cows think cooks are mean? – They whip cream.
38. What is it when one cow spies on another cow? – A steak out.
39. If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? – Plenty of milk.
40. What do you call an Arab next to a cow? – Milk Sheikh.
41. What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties? – Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo.
42. What is the definition of “moon”? – The past tense of “moo”.
43. What do cows do when they’re introduced? – They give each other a milk shake.
44. Why is the barn so noisy? – Because all of the cows have horns.
45. What do you call an evil cow? – De-mooooon
46. What does a cow put on his French toast? – Moooolasses.
70 of our favourite cow puns and funny jokes to amoose you with laughter.
Simple yet loveable. These cow puns work well for any occasion. Whether you are trying to impress your significant other, hit it off with fellow cow lovers, or simply break the ice, just give these a go!
Even if they may be too cheesy, I’m sure you’ll get a smile or two!
What are your favourites? Did we miss any?
Please comment below, we would love to hear from you.