This collection of Fruit puns is udderly amazing! This is one of the best places online for puns about fruits – and they are clean and safe for all ages. Great for adult and kids We’re adding funny fruits puns all the time, so check back for new additions.
1. I am grapeful for our friendship
2. You’re one in a melon
3. My heart beets for you
4. Avo good day
5. We make the perfect pear
6. My existence is a peach of shit
7. You are cherry sweet
8. Olive you so much it hurts
9. I sew my friend Mel on the beach earlier
10. There’s so mushroom in my heart for you
11. The melon ran away and marry someone but it cantaloupe
12. The spoiled grape led a little wine
13. A wine can cause a grapeshot
14. You look radishing
15. I find this attaire appeeling
16. I’ve bean thinking about you
17. Lettuce turnip the beet
18. Bitch peas
Best Collection of fruit puns and jokes
Q: How do you make an apple puff?
A: Chase it round the garden!
Q: What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?
A: Puff pastry!
Q: What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
A: An outboard apple.
Q: What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
A: It can look round. Apple #1: You look down in the dumps. What’s eating you? Apple #2: Worms, I think.
Q: Why did the banana go to see the doctor?
A: The banana was not peeling very well.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date.
Q: What is the easiest way to make a banana split?
A: Cut it in half.
Q:What is square and green?
A:A lemon in disguise
Q:Why did the banana go to the doctor? A:Because it wasn’t peeling well
Q:What do you call two banana peels? A:A pair of slippers
Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
Q: How did Iceland repel the bananas attack?
A: By freezing them
Q: Why do banana’s do so well on the dating scene?
A: Because they have Appeal!
Q: What did the grape say when he got stepped on?
A: He let out a little wine.
Q: Why did the lemon cross the road?
A: Because it wanted to be a lemon squash!
Q: How do you find a lost rabbit?
A: Easy. Make a noise like a carrot.
Q: Why did the passion fruit vine lose its passion?
A: Because its fruit fell off
Q : “What’s purple and huge and swims in the ocean?”
A: “Moby Grape.”
Q: What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?
A: Theworld’s best Sundae!
Q: What’s yellow and always points to the north?
A: A magnetic banana.
Q: What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz?
A: An electric banana.
Q: What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?
A: If you weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam!
Q: Why were the little strawberries upset? A: Because their parents were in a jam!
Q: If white wine goes with fish, what do white grapes go with?
Q: What did one grape say to another?
A: You’ve got appeal in bunches!
Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
A: Because he ran out of juice
Q: Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm?
A: He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
Q: Why don’t bananas snore?
A: Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Q: Why are you eating a banana with the skin on?
A: Oh, it’s all right. I know what’s inside.
Q: Why did the Orange go out with a Prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a Date!
Q: What does an Orange sweat?
A: Orange Juice!
Q: When do you go at red and stop at green?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.
Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.
Q:What can a whole Apple do that half an Apple can’t do?
A:It can look round!
Q:What did one Worm say to the other who was stuck in an Apple?
A: Worm your way out of that one, then!
Q:If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the Orchard, how many hours would it take three pigs?
A: None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all!
Q: What is a navy officer’s favourite fruit? A: Naval oranges.
Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A: A crab apple!
Q: Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York?
A: She fell for the Big Apple!
Q: What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes?
A: a waterfelon.
Q: What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
A: Pork rinds
Q: What type of fruit has babies in a red house, a red house in a white house, and a white house in a green house?
A: A watermelon!
Q: Why Did The Tomato Blush?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
A: “You better catch up!”
Q: What is red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
Q: Why is a tomato round and red?
A: Because if it was long, skinny, and green, it would be a bean.
Q: Why is an orange so smart?
A: Because it CONCERTRATES!
Q: Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?
A: He couldn’t concentrate!
Q: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?
A: Tomato paste!
Q: What did the pasta say to the tomato? A: “Don’t get saucy with me!”
Q: Why did Mrs. Tomatoe turn red?
A: She saw Mr. Green Pea !
Q: Why is life like ketchup?
A: Good things in life come slow and are worth waiting for.
Q: How do you get rid of lazy tomato employees?
A: Can them.
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite Fruit?
Q: How do you make a Strawberry shake?
A: Put it into the freezer until it shivers!
Q: What school subject is the fruitiest?
A: History – because it is full of dates!
Q: What fruit teases you a lot?
A: A Ba na..na..na..na..na!
Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple?
A: I’ve got you covered
Q: What reads and lives in an Apple?
A: A bookworm!
Q: How do you make an Apple turnover? A: Push it down hill!
Q: What Kind of Apple isn’t an Apple?
A: A Pineapple!
Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!
Q: What did the banana say to the monkey?
A: Nothing, bananas can’t talk!
Q: Why did the monkey like the banana? A: Because it had appeal!
Q: What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside?
A: A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Q: What’s the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?
A: Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
Q: What would you call two banana skins?
A: A pair of slippers!
Q: What do you do if you see a blue banana?
A: Try to cheer it up.
Q: What’s yellow and writes?
A: A ball-point banana.
Q: Why are bananas never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
Q: How do you catch King Kong?
A: Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.