99+ Funny Riddles Only Big Brains Will Understand? 2020

Riddles can be hard but these are just funny?

Best Funny Riddles with Answers

1, What has teeth but can’t bite?
A comb.

2. What has hands, but never washes them?
A clock.

3. What always disappears when you stand up?
Your lap.

4. What do you get when you cross your right eye with your left eye?

5. What time does a doctor What time does a tennis get up? player get up?
Sicks o’clock. Ten-ish.

6. What time does a shark get up?
Ate o’clock.

7. What time does a duck get up?
At the quack of dawn.

8. What has 88 keys, but never opens a door?
A piano.

9. Why do vampires brush their teeth?
So they won’t have bat breath.

10. Who taught King Tut to brush his teeth?
His mummy.

11. What happened to the skunk that fell into the bathtub?
It stunk all the way to the bottom.

12. What do you call a little bear who never takes a bath?
Winnie the Phew!

13. What happened to the mouse that fell into the bathtub?
It came out squeaky clean.

14. What should you do if you find a great white shark in your bathtub?
Pull out the plug!

15. How does a bear test its bathwater?
With its bear feet.

16. What do you take when you bring a cell phone into the bathtub with you?
A babble bath.

17. Why can’t elephants ever really get clean?
Because they can’t take off their trunks.

18. Why did the rabbit wear a shower cap?
It didn’t want to get its hare wet.

19. How can you be sure to keep your hair dry in the shower?
Don’t turn on the water.

20. Why did the basketball players shower after every game?
Because they dribble all over the place.

21. If you held six bars of soap in one hand and 10 in the other, what would you have?
Very big hands!

22. What does a wasp apply after a shower?

22. What do cheerleaders eat for breakfast?

23. What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.

24. What do race car drivers eat for breakfast?
Fast food.

25. What does a basketball team do for breakfast?
Dunk donuts.

26. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.

27. What do canaries eat for breakfast?
Cream of Tweet.

28. What does Humpty Dumpty eat for breakfast?
Egg drop soup.

29. Why was the broom late for school?
It overswept.

30. Why was Silly Billy afraid to go to school?
He had class-trophobia.

31. What is the first thing a dolphin learns in class?
Its A-B-Seas.

32. Why do dolphins swim in saltwater?
Pepper makes them sneeze.

33. How do dogs do in school?
They have a ruff time.

34. Why was the polar bear upset with her test grade?
It was 20 below zero.

35. How did the lettuce get an A on the test?
It used its head.

36. What should you do if you get a B on your math test?
Be careful it doesn’t sting you.

37. What did the ocean say to the oyster?
” What time do you open up?”

38. How does Neptune keep his underwater castle clean?
He hires mer-maids.

39. What did the ocean say to the pier?
” There’s something fishy going on here.”

40. What do bumblebees wear on the beach?

41. How do spiders swim laps?
They do the crawl.

42. How do caterpillars swim laps?
They do the butterfly.

43. How do chickens swim laps?
They do the breaststroke.

44. How do vets swim laps?
They do the dog paddle.

45. How does the Man in the Moon eat soup?
With a Big Dipper.

46. What is the messiest constellation?
The Big Dripper.

47. What Olympic high jumper can jump higher than the moon?
All of them. The moon can’t jump.

48. How would you phone the Man in the Moon?
Use E.T. & T.

49. How do you get a baby astronaut to go to sleep?
You rock-et.

50. How do you know that Saturn has taken a bath in your tub?
It leaves a ring.

51. What do you have when your head is hot, your foot is cold, and you see spots before your eyes?
A polka-dot sock over your head.

52. When can a horse leave the hospital and go home?
When it’s in stable condition.

53. What do you do with a squeaky mouse?
Oil it.

54. Where do sick frogs go?
To the hospital.

55. Where do ships go when they get seasick?
To the dock-tor.

56. If you try to cross the ocean in a leaky ship, what do you get?
About halfway.

57. What’s the fastest way to get to the hospital?
Pick a fight with a dinosaur.

58. What happened when the owl got a sore throat?
It didn’t give a hoot.

59. What television programs do COws watch?

60. What television sets do zebras watch?
Black and white ones.

61. What television programs do slugs watch?
Slime-time dramas.

62. When you go to the movies, you need supervision?
No, regular vision will do.

63. Why couldn’t Ms. Skunk get into the movie theater?
She was ten scents short.

64. What did the famous movie star dog do after its performance?
Took a bow-wow.

65. What runs around all day and then lies under the bed with its tongue hanging out?
Your sneaker.

66. What do video cassettes do at night?
They unwind.

67. What do tired computer programmers do?
They go home and crash

68. Why can’t computers remember their dreams?
Because they are always losing their memories.

69. How do insects communicate on their computers?
By bee-mail.

70. What happened to the computer programmer’s cheese sandwich?
His mouse ate it.

71. What do computer viruses eat for snacks?

72. Where do baby computer like to sit?
On your laptop

73. Why did Dracula’s computer die?
He took a few bytes out of it.

74. What did the pen say to the pencil?
” So what’s your point?”

75. Why should you take a pen to the garden?
So you can weed and write.

Laughitloud Team

We are a squad of professional joke testers, caffeine enthusiasts, and naptime champions. Armed with puns and a questionable sense of humor, we're on a mission to make the world laugh one snort at a time. Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter and occasional bouts of smiling in public spaces."

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