animal jokes Archives

Are searching for animal jokes? Well, you don't have to search any further, here is the collection of best animal jokes that will spark laughter in you. Best Animal Jokes 1. Why was the duck unhappy? A: His bill was in the mail. 2. Why was the pig mad at the hog? A: The hog squealed on him. 3. What do you call mail sent to a cat? A: Kitty letter. 4. What loves peanuts and goes boom! boom! boom? A: An elephant skipping rope. 5. What kind of ducks rob banks? A: Sate quackers. 6. Why was the fox so depressed? A: Everyone kept hounding him. 7. What did one pig cowboy say to the other? A: Reach for the sty, partner. 8. What do you call a Georgia hen who changes the color of her feathers? A: Southern dyed chicken. 9. did the gander wear to his wedding? A: A duckcedo (tuxedo) 10. Why was the elephant annoyed at his date? A: She took too long to powder her nose. 11. How do you send a canary through the post office? A: Use bird-class (first-class) mail. 12. What do you call a formal dance for ducks? A: A fowl ball. 13. What did the little chick say to the big chick? A: Peck on someone your own size. 14. Why did the frog buy a rod and reel? A: He wanted to do some fly fishing. 15. What did the judge say when a skunk walked in? A: Odor (Order) in the court! 16. How did the kangaroo convict escape? A: He jumped bail 17. Why did the pig go to the casino? A: He wanted to play the slop machine. 18. What do you find in a pig mall? A: Pork shops. 19. Why did the duck go ring! ring? A: He got a phone bill. 20. How did the barber get rid of his unwanted rabbits? A: He used hare remover. 21. How can you learn to speak to cows? A: Take moosic lessons. 22. Why did the elephant make a good reporter? A: He had a great nose for news. 23. What owl has a band of merry men? A: Robin Hoot 24. What's big and white and scores a lot of strikes? A: A bowler (polar) bear. 25. What do you get if you cross a sheep and a monkey? A: A bah-boon (baboon). 26. Why didn't the dog speak to his foot? A: It's not polite to talk back to your paw. 27. Which undersea creature has lots of arms and is fast on the draw? A: Billy the Squid. 28. How much money do a dozen skunks have? A: Twelve scents (cents) 29. What's the quickest way to mail a little horse? A: Use the Pony Express. 29. Why did Mr. and Mrs. Cat get married? A: They were a purrfect match. 30. How do turtles pay for things? A: They shell out cash. 31. What do you call a canary run over by a lawnmower? A: Shredded tweet. 32. What do you call a canary that flies into a pastry dish? A: Tweetie Pie. 33. How do fish travel to work? A: In carp pools. 34. Did you hear about the guy whose cat got run over by a steamroller? A: He just stood there with a long puss. 35. Where might you find a psychic cat? A: At the E.S.P.C.A. 36. What is the worst weather for mice? A: When it's raining cats and dogs. 37. What's even worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxicabs. 38. Did you hear about the caterpillar's New Year's resolution? A: It promised to turn over a new leaf. 39. Why did the boy bait his hook with a dead mouse? A: He was fishing for catfish. 40. What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? A: Your calves. 41. What key do cattle sing in? A: Beef-flat. 42. What happens to a cow when it gives birth? A: It gets de-calf-inated. 43. What do you call a cow with two legs? A: Lean beef. 44. What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground beef. 45. What else do you call a cow with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him. He still won't come. 46. What has a hundred legs and goes, “Ho ho ho!"? A: A Santapede. 47. Did you hear about the lizard that tells jokes and changes colors? A: It's a stand-up chameleon. 48. Why is it dangerous to play poker in the jungle? A: Because of all the lion cheetahs. 49. What do you call a hen that gets sunburned in Florida? A: Southern fried chicken. 50. Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from Colonel Sanders. 51. How did the mouse pass his final exam? A: He just squeaked by. 52. Why was the little elephant six hours late for dinner? A: He had to wash behind his ears before coming to the table. 53. Which birds work underground? A: Myna (miner) birds. 54. Which bird does construction work? A: The crane. 55. Why was the lion all wet? A: He had a water-mane (water-main) break. 56. What's gray and spins around and around? A: A hippo stuck in a revolving door. 57. Why did the pigeon need to get out? A: He was cooped up at home all week. 58. What keys won't open doors? A: Donkeys (as well as monkeys and turkeys). 59.;What has a shell and flies? A: A turtle-dove. 60. Why did the man use a duck as an alarm clock? A: So it would wake him up at the quack of dawn. 61. What happens when a duck flies upside down? A: It quacks up. 62. What is an eel's favorite sport? A: Ice shockey. 63. Where do young fish study and learn? A: In eel-ementary schools. 64. Why are there so many elephant jokes? A: Because it's never hard to find a new wrinkle. 65. What did the buck say to the doe? A: "Let's have a little fawn, baby." 66. Did you hear about the fisherwoman named Annette? A: She really got caught up in her work. 67. Why can't you expect fishermen to be generous? A: Because their business makes them sell fish. 68. What's the difference between a newspaper and a television set? A: You can't wrap fish and chips in a television set. 69. What is a sea monster's favorite meal? A: Fish and ships. 70. What fiery letter is like a flamingo? A: A flaming “O." 71. Did you hear about the dog who went to a flea circus? A: He stole the whole show. 72. which the main characters are frogs? A: Star Warts. 73. Did you hear about the cowardly frog? A: She was a chicken croakette. 74. What is a frog’s favorite snack? A: French flies and a large Croak at the IHOP. 75. Where do giraffes hang out? A: At Giraffe-ic Park. 76. What's tall and flowery? A: A giraffodil. 77. What did the mole publisher print? A: An underground newspaper. 78. Why do fish like to eat worms so much? Who knows? A: They're just hooked on them. 79. When did the steers go west? A: During the Cow-a-fornia Gold Rush 80. What did the baby horse say to the barn? A: Is my fodder (father) in there? 81. What did the waiter say to the horse? A: can't take your order. That's not my stable. 82. What do moles like to eat? A: Ground beef. 83. Why didn't the elephant get rich? A: He was willing to work for peanuts. 84. Do you have to knock on Tarzan's front door? A: No. Use the door buzzard (buzzer). 85. What game do mother hens play with their baby chicks? A: Peck-a-boo. 86. What do you get if you cross a pile of dirt and a pig? A: A groundhog 87. Why couldn't the herd of deer buy lunch for everyone? A: They only had one buck. 88. Where should you go if you lose your fish? A: The lost-and-flounder department. 89. What reptile is really crumby? A: The crackerdile. 90. What goes bouncel bouncel bouncel ouch? A: A kangaroo accidentally hopping on a tack. 91. Where do cow artists put their works of art? A: In a mooseum, 92. Why was the pony's hoof making a funny sound? A: His horseshoe was a ringer, 93. How can you tell the difference between a zebra sergeant and a zebra private? A: The zebra sergeant has more stripes. 94. What do you call short stories written by hogs? A: Pig tales. 95. Who is the funniest goat? A: Billy the Kidder, 96. What do you call a minor bird accident? A: A feather bender. 97. Why did the mole go to the store? A: He heard they specialize in hole-sale 98. What does a squid wear on a cold day? A: A coat of arms. 99. What has feathers and breaks into houses? A: A robber ducky 100. Where do horses stay in a hotel? A: In the bridle suite. 101. What kind of buck carries a sample case? A: A deer-to deer (door-to-door) salesman 102. What do you call a vaccination given to a boy deer? A: Buck shot. 103. What dog do you find on a baseball field? A: The catcher's mutt (mitt).

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